AHoD - Entry 4

Recently I watched a movie called “I Love you Man” with Paul Rudd as the main actor. It was a very humorous movie about my life. Granted I am creative enough to make every movie I see capable to relate to myself. Literally this movie hits me a lot because… well the idea of the movie is that this guy is engaged with his fiancé and she brings up the fact he doesn’t have any guy friends in which to play the part of his wedding party. So he goes on “man-dates” in which to meet new people. Some are bad, some are worse.
I’m actually in this predicament as well. I get along well with the ladies, I can also get along with guys too don’t get me wrong. After watching this movie…I asked myself… “who would your wedding party consist of?” Well for one thing I don’t plan on getting married anytime soon if ever, and will highly doubt I’ll ever have to come to this decision, however I decided to humor myself. (I humor myself. LOL as if I had MPD… do I? No you don’t. Thanks!)
I went through my list of guy friends in which to ask if they would want to be in my wedding party. I came to realize that none of my guy friends I would trust to take up that role, especially as best man. I smile because I have expertly finagled that.

AHoD - Entry 3

It’s always interesting hearing others with their romantic problems. Somehow I always am the right person to talk to about these things. Granted I’ve never had this sort of experience people warrant my advice to be useful. Some days I wonder whether the empirical “Do what you preach” sign will hit me.
I’ve always been the confidant of all my friends and associates for their troubled love lives. Whether misguided, confused or eclectic occurrences I somehow have an insight. I have this inexplicable methodology in which to talk to people without actually talking. It’s humorous on my side. I play to my strengths as a passive aggressive person and always manage to save myself from a confrontation in which I emerge not as a victor but at least unscathed.
I will ask interesting questions in which the person I’m talking to will answer because it is me, but at the same time I’m asking the questions that their heart wants to ask. In other words I can emulate the heart of my subjects… if I am in accordance to their predicament.

I also have a knack of deterring even the most suitable suitors. I don’t honestly think it is me, yet the circumstances surrounding each occasion are delightfully humorous. I recall with one of my best if not good friends from my junior college days. Granted I’m still IN my junior college days but that is another lengthily story in which to cover later. Almost every time she starts dating a new guy, I get introduced and a couple of weeks later she is single. I don’t delight in her single-ness but it is another weapon in which I armed myself with. She wants her new “associate” to meet her friends, for safety and just so we can get a glimpse of them as well. I’m surmising that they are not accustomed to our crazy brother/sister relationship and the ability to finish each other’s thoughts and sentences. Also the amount of inside jokes are questionable as to if they are really jokes. However I seem to do that with all my friends which happen to be girls. I think I’m just the boy repellant. BR… that’s the acronym for bathroom… wonderful.

AHoD - Entry 2

About two years ago come July 7th, I was invited to Church by my friend Judy after a five year “hiatus” we’ll call it. My other friend Robin invited her to this church, as well as myself but I said “I wasn’t ready.” Judy knows how to deal with me. She uprights goes to my house and picks me up ready or not. I still grumble at the fact she knows me so well.
Anyways…I go to church and the moment I step in and hear the music I know that I’m home. Everything is so inviting. The funny thing is, is that the Pastor asked who was a first timer at this church. Of course me being the “loud and proud” type of exhibitionist back then, (no I’m not into THAT tisk tisk) stood up and raised my hand. Self humility and self humiliation are two different things. I do both things well.
On the note of self humiliation, the Pastor said “Welcome, here is a gift!” and promptly threw a book at me. I’m kind of uncoordinated in sports and the only sport I really played was volleyball. My first reaction was to “bump” the book back but that would be inappropriate. I think I let it hit me or something. This book was . I flipped through the pages just to get a gist of the story line. The first line talked about Starbucks, a place I like to call home. I knew instantly this book was for me. I had a wonderful time at church, went home and went to investigate the book further.
As I was reading this book, I was more excited and giddy than I have ever felt in a long time. I was still coming down from my spiritual high from church. Then I hit the wall. This book started talking about love. Exasperated I set the book down for a few moments, looked up and sighed. Maybe it won’t be that bad. So I went back into the book again. The author separated the book into three parts. I jumped to the second part.

Blah blah blah blah about the book what it did to my outlook on life etc etc etc blah blah blah yada yada yada

AHoD - Entry 1

“Why are you so stubborn?”
“When I was your age…”
“Why can’t you be more like…?”
“Why don’t you go and move out if you hate it so much.”

They finally said it. “Why don’t you go move out.” Seriously. Why don’t I go move out. It’s not like I’m wanted here. I definitely don’t want to be here. Why am I still here? I’m not appreciated, and I’m definitely not loved.
Love. There’s that word again. Love. It’s not even Valentine’s Day. What does love even mean? Raised in a family where hugs and kisses are almost considered obscene; love is just that…an obscenity. Love is a tool for heartbreak. Or at least so tells the soap operas or the real life versions I’ve witnessed from my friends and their “wonderful” relationships. I’ve seen so many people toss the word around, but to me it means so much more and yet so much less.
I remember once upon a time, I had a relationship. I know. I never intended this story to be for comedic relief but… ok you can stop laughing now. STOP. Anyways, I remember that she was lying on my shoulder one sadly depressing instance in my room. Not even sure what I was doing at the time but she said to me, “I love you.” And I said… “Ok…” I know it isn’t the best thing to say but… I was caught off guard. Honestly, we weren’t even dating for a long time. The whole occurrence was about two months of “courting” and two months of actual dating. You are nineteen, what could you possibly know about love. I should have been asking that question to myself at the time. Something to note “fellas,” when a lady says “I love you,” you are supposed to say “I love you too.” It’s customary and beneficial for your survival. Otherwise Neosporin is fated in your near future though as men we note and understand duct tape is our best friend.
The thing is I don’t know anything about love. My father and mother taught me respect, honor, chivalry, and to treat others how you wish to be treated. Those were the tools in which were applicable and a step towards being successful. Everything I learned in my childhood life had its reason for being taught. Love unfortunately was left on the back burner.Sure I had a loving family and all. Well it is dependent on what your idea of love is. We supported each other through thick and thin. When someone was in trouble we were always there to help. The thing about it I think I was acting on sole obligation than for a feeling of love. Being told that you are supposed to be there for your sisters became something I was just programmed to do.

AHoD - Intro

“Man cannot live on bread alone” Nothing could be truer. Anatomy suggests that our body has natural needs of a combination of food, considered to be the bread, as well as fluids. However we also need such things as the energy of the sun in which to chemically increase our intake of nutrients via photosynthesis and with the mitochondria… who am I kidding I’m no science nut. I’m frankly not even sure I passed my high school Biology class. The end of the matter is that we as human beings need more than just food and water. We need love.
This is a story of an individual, mainly me, and my own personal journey through this wild ride known as life. I could sit and spit statistics at you but I’m sure I lost you by the pseudo-biology comments above. I’ll try another tactic.
The night was heavy with musk and scents of blood which only refueled his hunger further. Silently, stealthily searching for a body to consume with his lust. He senses a shadow nearby and his teeth salivate…
Did I get you back? Good. Evidently my life isn’t as commonplace as I would have suggested a couple of years ago. Then again one of my major quotes in life is “You don’t like me because I’m normal.” What I would do for a normal life.