Hope

So around 9:45pm 8/29/09 I wanted to escape from the mundane farmville postings and etc facebook games. Granted I finally cleared my inbox, ugh it's like taking one day off from work: Your email is full and you need to get rid of your inbox.

Anyways off I go tromping into my favorite Starbucks North Main and Treat. I get greeted by John whom I'm an acquaintance through Sarah and Toni. He ask's where've I been, as if we talk often, but i'm a sucker so I enjoyed it. I responded poor and made him crack up. He treated me today which was incredibly nice of him.

I took my seat facing the outside windows but in front of the "cushy" chairs. One of the chairs was a woman sitting with a lime skin colored shirt and jeans. She commented on the music and I responded that it's different today being of a Salsa/African environment instead of the usual Classical/Jazz. (I suppose this was the time to put on my ipod but... i didn't heh woe it me.) She then started (i'll use this term loosely) dancing to the music. I was nice and smiled, because if you grin you are egging her on and if you smirk you are asking for alot of conversation. I must have smirked. Sigh.

She asked my opinion on this shell bracelet with black little beads on it. Which way should it face, solid shell out or with the insides of the shells facing out. I, being neutral, said it depended on your outfit but today I'd go shell out... and sigh forgive me for having a dang fashion sense >< She at that point felt the need to introduce herself fully but without giving a name. I was wondering if she was drunk at any point or was just totally eclectic. It was the latter.

She had quite a story to not tell because I think she wanted to spare me, which I was grateful for. Eventually her friend showed up with some mascara from walgreens nearby. I attempted to look busy but... yeah to no avail. Lucky for me they wanted to go outside and enjoy the summer skies, which I agreed.

That leads me to my topic of discussion today: Hope. I want to believe that I can draw hope for people. It was wierd just having this divine appointment ready for me to infuse a sense of hope into some people, regardless of how strange and how odd. I don't think I fully did the job but tonights event made me realize that life is too short and that if you think you got it bad... someone else has always got it worse. What do you do? You hope. You hope for what is to come. If you already have hoped, then you believe. You believe in that hope and you believe in yourself.

I feel that everything I'm going through this season is for a distinct reason. I mentioned to my friend today that it was the funeral of my ex-brother in law (the formal title i suppose.) Lady overheard and talked more to me about life, and in turn her's. She said one thing to me... That I am a great uncle. That was odd to me, especially as someone I just met. It also could be for the fact I'm too trusting but when she said that... she wasn't just being polite... she meant it. That's the crazy part.

Hope. Let's all hope... together.

Is it time to breathe yet?

Well my 1st week of DVC comes to an end. I still have no time to breathe. With Karen coming over Monday, Bryan passing later that night, mourning on tuesday, Robin and his car problems, back to school on wednesday, freaking out about that sociology class that could inevitably become a bad bad super wow nuclear explosion bad thing, trying to remember how to read sheet music in a choir setting, looking for that last unit, my dog's incessant barking, committee planning, social life planning, worship team practice, last night starbucks. I'm totally done!!!

The sad part is that tho i wish and can go to sleep whenever I want, i'm never going to be rested. Throw in my mental stasis and you go yourself a crash and burn movie flick, multi genre at least. i don't usually draw blanks when writing. I can't think of a thing. but yea... it's been a long long week.

R.I.P Bryan Soo

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=119307014547&ref=nf

Monday night was fun we just finished up with our friend Karen, from HK, also my ex. whatever =\ We are all settling down for the night. Brandon is getting read to, both my sisters and I are in our separate rooms probably fiddling on Facebook and getting the bed ready for our sleep.

Not sure what happened about the time. I was getting a call from Robin, I think about the accident he almost had, and how crazy it was. Then I got another call from Heather, about something... not that i don't remember i'm not supposed to say heh. At the same time my sister got a phone call too. That's when we heard.

Although our families are separated now, he still feels like that older brother to me. In some ways he reminds me of Panda from Kung Fu Panda but less voracious eating and more polite heh. Geez... the club events that we all shouldn't have done. The birthday outing he went to for my 21st. How he took care of me like a brother. The trip to Hawaii. His chuckle. Wow just Hawaii was a billion of memories. When we shared the condo. Lol he actually ate some of my food sometimes! Now thats scary. I remember when my cousin Robert turned of age and we went to this outside bar/lounge. Joce had this wierd fur tube top where she couldn't use her hands. Robin, Thao, Stef were there and of course Thao wasn't drinking at that time so I took her shot lol.

Bryan was just that: A brother. A Friend. A Gentle Giant. A Father. The nicest guy you ever met. The biggest clown you've ever seen. I can see him monkeying around as I write this.

Thank you Bryan. For everything. I wish I had the chance to tell you that. You will be missed. I'll do my best to make sure Brandon is safe, and to tell him about you. I promise to show Brandon your quality of life. You've touched us all Bryan. Have a safe journey. We'll see each other again in God's court.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
Bible, Psalms 30:5

College part 5

so sad lol. So this is the 3rd time i'm returning to college at DVC (Diablo Valley College.) Joy to be with pretentous 18 year olds who think they know everything. I think I might just not talk and life would be so much easier... too bad that isn't how i roll. ah well

I'm going to be studying this semester and hopefully from now on, sociology. I have this disease... it's called "i gotta know!" and it's closely related cousin disease "how can I help!" I always have this knack of getting myself into messes and frankly i should probably stop. But i can't it's like an addiction. yes another addiction for willis woo... least i'm not in denial eh?

To catch you up on my college history. (this is most humorous) I started off doing tha regular asian-esque fulfillment college major of business. Who knew after 6 classes of accounting that... well... i kind of suck at it. I guess I didn't realize that repeating BUSAC 186 3x and BUSAC187 3x... hmm should I keep trying? hah. NO!

I then went to music because I was studying some music theory at the same time and it was a good time to change majors. I "had to help" other people (inward eyeroll) and neglected my own project and homework. I did well in the class if I ever remembered to turn in my work. "Bleh, Sorry Owen yeah I still owe you heh."

From there, I went to Broadcasting. This was around the same time I learned that Asian Pop Music ROCKED! this was probably 2003 or something. I was also streaming from my own house my radio station that I worked for... maybe about a month and never got paid for it. It was good practice. It was hecka fun too and I met some awesome people who I still have on my AIM and I don't remember who they are. ><

I transferred to SFSU with broadcasting and did horrible lol. I can blame my WoW addiction for that. I then went to work for a few years after that. Clerical at some banks and etc. Eventually I ended up working for the Contra Costa District Attorney's as a temp. I thenk became in tune with my "libra-tic" tendencies of justice and whatever it was at the time and I think this was when the CSI and Law & Order blew up and EVERYONE wanted to get a piece of the action. I was a sucker as well.

Went back to DVC for undergrad requirements and quickly transferred to Sac State with an idea for Criminal Justice. That went pretty well for the first semester. Did moderately mediocre. 2nd semester was a doozie... we'll just leave it at that.

And here I am moved back home from Sac. Seems that I was totally homesick for the environment here. It's hard to live in an area for so long and be adapted to it's surroundings. I can't get used to not having the soothing ocean nearby, or my favorite starbucks (when it USED to be 24 hours) chatting with friends, the nearby parks to walk thru, the swings to swing on when thinking, my new church family, my real family, my dog, my friends... Totally blessed to be back home to start hopefully the final chapter of this college thing.

so...

UGH DVC STARTS AGAIN

Travelling

So I met up with my friends Sarah and Joel at starbucks. We caught up because I just moved back home from Sacramento and they just moved down to Merced. Yea... talk about timing. At the same time she also took a trip to Nicaragua. We went thru the logistics about how the trip was and etc and both came to the same conclusion: How do you plan to do something like this?!

My mindset cannot comprehend the "lets go take a trip to here at this time" and actually follow-thru with it. It's insane! At least for me.

SO! I'm going to try and do something like that. Not quite sure how to start hehe. I was told that you just pick a place and then look at airfare and plan the trip around it. I think it'll be quite hard having no solidified income. If you guys got any ideas or experiences feel free and let me know!!

Unbalanced

Basically that's what I am... especially for a Libra sign to be unbalanced is not a good thing. I'm sure it is because I'm finally letting go of the addiction of 'World of Warcraft(tm)'. It has been a 4 year journey with it's ups and it's downs. You're maybe thinking... "Are you kidding... over a stupid game" well sorry, like all things addictions are hard to deal with after you are done. To imagine, it has been 4 years, 10 characters average playtime per character was about 75days (as a full 24hours = 1 day) That was alot of committment put into one venue.

Due to financial issues, since moving back home in the beginning of June, I had to unwillingly let go of this link to anonymous global interaction. Since this last Monday, the 3rd of August I had to cancel my account. Technically if I want to conserve my character history I should reinact the account 6 months later or something. The true test will be whether I can do that or not.

This last week has been quite draining. I had no idea how to re-live life after not being stuck to a computer for at least 16 hours per day. I was still sitting in front of a computer but not intellectually interacting just merely watching and reading. I did ALOT of Facebook, watched many episodes of anime (Saint Seiya/Bleach) and read thru Harry Potter 6 & 7, the whole Thorn St. Criox series written by Faith Hunter, and now I'm starting Breaking Dawn again because I'm running out of things to read. I've slept numerous hours and still am not quite rested. Mostly because I usually only get 3-4 hours per night of sleep whilst playing WoW since I was playing with my Aussie friends. It was fun for me, we had good laughs and good times.

I'm told that I'm a people person. It didn't hit me how interaction with people is a necessity in my life. WoW did that, although I wasn't talking to people face to face, I was constantly talking to someone. Now... I have no avenue for that. This last week has been filled with bonfires, going back to nature, taking walks in the parks, coffee most definately, and people watching.

I've posted alot of items via status updates hinting about my stability mentally. Well here is the blog post hehe that I needed to communicate. Next week school will be starting and I'm hoping to get my life back on track. Find my hobbies, find my loves, find myself...most importantly find my self value. We'll see how this will go. Got some other things to talk about... but yeah...

/Salute