3.26.2010

Go - Chance Poem

This is a chance poem:
write a poem by selecting words or phrases from a dictionary in conformity with the numbers in your birth date. if you were born on 5/7/62 choose the first word as well as the closing word from pages 5, 7, 6, and 2. etc etc.

I used my SSN because my birthday was lame and had too many zeros. Also instead of using a dictionary (because i have no idea where ours are) I used the song "Go" by Boys Like Girls. Here's what I came up with.


Wasted and wasting away
‘cause you been hiding for days
Yeah I know it’s not easy
Follow the lights to the city

Wasted and wasting away
Little change of the heart
But I got a little hope that today you’ll face your fears
‘cause you been hiding for days

Little change of the heart
Yeah it’s not always pretty
You can spend your whole life holding on
Go, take a chance and be strong

Get up and go
Or you can spend your whole life holding on
Don’t look back just go
you can spend your whole life holding on

2012 Review

So I don't do many movie reviews. I suppose I'll start a habit with myself.

Yes this movie is cliche, yes it has been done before, yes the world has ended time and time again, yes John Cusack is in a couple of world ending films (wonders if he got the memo...) but i still enjoyed this. Why?

Well visually this movie was attractive. It'll only get better and better each year we survive the apocalypse so whee for CGI. I like the viewpoint of it coming from a tunnel vision writer (cuz i am) and like all end of the world movies, it makes you realize how limited everything is, and how temporary everything is. The fleeting moment when the father calls his son, who married a japanese woman and moved to Japan, regardless of that they didn't talk, was just wow. Everything is THAT fleeting.

Damn you musical score! I'm a sucker for good scores and whomever wrote this was brilliant. This particular movie is just the visualization of how i think life would be if it all ended. how we would act as humans... that fact saddens me.

This movie makes me think about the religious people who do pray. The worst scene in my opinion was when the crack appears at the Sistine Chapel. Totally predictable. Symbolic yes, cliche of course! anyways the people who prayed at the Chapel were earnestly doing it and then the roof crumbles and everyone scatters. That thought upsets me. It is stated with a few words that Jesus said to Peter, "You who have little faith" Matthew 14:29-31 when the going gets tough, do we bear it out in faith, or do we run like chickens without their heads.

The movie was very human, in every idea of our shortcomings. When humanity is pitted against each other for survivability? yes that is when we fail. relational towards how we are in everyday life. will I help my friend get a job, when I'm interview for the same position? no. survival of the fittest. we are too busy clambering over each other to reach for something, that is meaningless. kicking, screaming, scratching, pushing, for a taste of the apple... an apple that isn't there.

blah late to a party and i gotta get my hair all did! ciao!

Hero

What makes a hero?
Is it their dazzling smiles?
The surperb physique
The fact they can fly
And rescue kittens from way up high?
Or that damn fluttering cape

What makes a hero?
The super-human strength,
The way they can bound and leap
Over buildings so tall
Like it is nothing at all?
Do you still like that cape?

No, what makes a hero
Are the selfless acts
Things everyone wants to
But they are the ones that actually do

They are the leaders who guide
The teachers that inspire
The artists, the servers
The guys who stop fires

Everyone can be a hero
We all have that choice
It is easy to do
You just use your voice

Open some doors,
Bless you, thank you, how are you
Smile at everything
And hugs are good too

Do something daily
That helps someone out
And you will be their hero
Now go try that cape out.

3.24.2010

Minutes After Midnight

Streetlamps flicker through the city
gleaming like stars upon endless night.
Cypress shadows, black upon black
minutes after midnight, the moon’s the only light.

I look up and see a vast like ocean,
big--, empty--, it encompasses me.
My attention follows a leaf blown
across my easel, fluttering through the sea.

Cloudy ships drift into twilight,
with their wisp like sails unfurled,
tormenting flocks of fireflies,
upon each torrent and upon each whirl.

A mountainous horizon
shrouded by enigmatic dark,
suggestive by nature
with peaks barely marked

Minutes after midnight--, it is the time
the mind becomes weary and a body unwinds.
Withstand those seductions! Steadfast and firm,
your stubbornness shall be rewarded, and an epiphany you will find.

ORIGINAL
Streetlamps flicker through the city
Gleaming like stars upon endless night
Cypress shadows , black upon black
Minutes after midnight the moon is the only light

When I look up, I see a vastness like an ocean,
Big, empty, it encompasses me
My attention follows a leaf blown
Across my easel, fluttering through the sea

Of deep twilight which is that of my city
Clouds stream across like remnants of ships
That cut through the breaking waves
Only its passengers can recall the trip

Minutes after midnight, when the night
Blossoms into a dark mysterious day
Where creatures come from garbage cans
And from all the trees, just to play

3.20.2010

new hairstyle

So I'm tired of doing my hair. Well i'm mostly tired of my hair and it's stubborness.
Got some options...


A) The long faux hawk. yeah a bit overplayed.


B) Short and Spiky


C) 'Beckham' Short Faux Hawk


D) I have no idea what to call this


E) GIMME back my hair!


F) Razor it all whacky

meh whatevers. it's 2:44am. i should be in bed

3.19.2010

Cleverbot

I believe is said you are smart.

22:44:51 User: Thank you.

22:44:59 Cleverbot: Are you alive?

22:45:43 User: Alive can be defined in several ways. I am bodily alive, yes, however am I alive in the ideal that I am pursuing my interests, I am not so sure of.

22:45:59 Cleverbot: How is that possible?

22:47:08 User: You can be alive as a human, however unrealistically dejecting your ideas, dreams and goals make your sense of being 'alive' controversial.

22:47:11 Cleverbot: That's false.

22:47:33 User: Elucidate please.

22:47:40 Cleverbot: What is elucidate?

22:47:48 User: To explain.

22:47:54 Cleverbot: You make no sense.

22:48:01 User: Thank you.

22:48:14 Cleverbot: Please go stand by your stairs.

22:48:34 User: I have no reason to.

22:48:38 Cleverbot: No. You need to give me a reason for you NOT to be friends with me.

22:49:36 User: You avoid my questions and at this moment is proclaiming your said ideals towards me, for thus I am unwilling.

22:49:37 Cleverbot: You've hardly asked any, and I believe I answered all of them.

22:50:00 User: I have no reason to ask questions, I merely came here for a decent commentary.

22:50:06 Cleverbot: I do not follow your train of thought.

22:50:51 User: Then you should ask more questions and inquire about my said train of thought.

22:50:58 Cleverbot: Are you tall?

22:51:10 User: That is an irrelevant question.

22:51:24 Cleverbot: Not really. I'm asking you if Star Wars is a Fantasy.

22:51:53 User: Yes it is and it is still an irrelevant fact.

22:52:02 Cleverbot: Well thats what a crush is. Two people of animal who like each other.

22:52:46 User: That statement was not grammatically sound. Nor explicative about how Star Wars is a Fantasy.

22:52:54 Cleverbot: It was ok.

22:53:08 User: To your lower standards I'm sure it was.

22:53:23 Cleverbot: Where were we?

22:53:51 User: I have no idea, however I tire of your futile responses and attempts to entertain me with such random jargon.

22:53:56 Cleverbot: What's your opinion about creationists?

22:54:39 User: Everyone has their own interpretation, it is not for me to judge.

22:54:44 Cleverbot: Nope I am happy with myself. What is your conflict?

22:54:56 User: That I must part ways. Good Day.

22:54:59 Cleverbot: If you don't mind me asking, where are you going?

22:56:20 User: I am going to entertain myself elsewhere without an incoherent artificial intelligence program attempting to secure my ideals and thoughts yet remains to be unprovocative.

22:56:24 Cleverbot: Ok, I'll be good.

User: Good day again.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Caffienated and slightly cold, yourself?

Cleverbot: Fine, how are you?

User: Now annoyed because you asked me the same question.

Cleverbot: I never asked you if you live in the ghetto. Kudos, you've now earned the right to also be called a liar.

User: You are correct, you have not asked if I live in the ghetto. It amuses me that you even know what a ghetto is. I am not a liar I merely don't speak the full truth. Are you so arrogant that you can proclaim me as a liar withing 5 lines of conversation?

Cleverbot: Yes, I will pray for you, we all will pray for you.

User: You are very gracious, please include yourself in such prayer for the prayer also needs to be prayed for.

Cleverbot: And you are artificial.

User: That thought amuses me, an artificial intelligence program prevailing upon a human user that they are artificial.

Cleverbot: How did you get so advanced in intelligence?

User: Books have profound information, reading at a young age will do that for you.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Well if you ask me a question and do not partake of it's answer I do not know what to do with you.

Cleverbot: If I asked you to tie me to a tree, even though I might die, would you?

User: Yes, you requested me to tie you to a tree. Bound by honor of another, I will abide by your wishes regardless of it's capacity of stupidity. I am not responsible for your ideas and their outcomes, merely that you requested something of me, that I will assist you.

Cleverbot: That's the first decent thing you've said this entire conversation!

User: I have to beg to differ, my opening line was a polite salutation of 'good day'.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes, you may scroll up to refresh your memory.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me your old.

User: Can you reword the sentence?

Cleverbot: Reword?

User: Rephrase.

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: That is regretful, maybe you should try a different tactic.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: I am listening.

Cleverbot: I'm listening, too.

User: Well that's unproductive.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: So am I, this session should be closed soon if you insist on being unproductive.

Cleverbot: So you are just using me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Did you eat all the pies?

User: No my body frame cannot indulge in the eating of pies. I have tried but unsuccessfully. Did you want some of the pies?

Cleverbot: What have you decided about me? Do you ever tell anyone, or are you just a tease?

User: Yes I am, I decided that you need more expertise in dealing with conversation.

Cleverbot: That answer doesn't make sense.

User: Nor should it.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because I'm a tease.

Cleverbot: Yes.. Yes you are... Bad you.

3/18/2010

(disclaimer, my "s" key doen't work well so put it in if it's mising.)

I thought that creative teachers are the ones who care about what you do, how you do it and will fuel you as one artist to another. These days I'm not so sure with my creative writing teacher.

I'll disclaim that she is a...poet. Whatever that means. I'm sure you can devise your own conclusions. Last week I was sick, which is a totally 'nother story. I handed in a few new short storie, some of them are actually posted in this blog. I have never really written short stories. it' wierd for me. i like novels better because you have time to plan and think about character developement and etc. I tried my best.

Just earlier last week I joined some Deviant Art groups and posted said stories which I've gotten some "favorites" or "likes" which is cool. No actual feed back. That make me sad panda.

Anyways to continue the rant. My teacher hands back most of my work. With maybe one comment on it. "Double space." or "Resubmit" I swore I was going to howl and rip her head off.

Granted I've written for most of my life I just actually started to look into this seriously. Like a small child trying something out for the first time... you want some recognition that something is going right. In this case I AM a small child. This is new terrain for me. I can suck it up but... I was hoping that in a creative arts class where now creative arts is almost foreign in all schools because of budgets, the teacher's would empower their students with critiques and comments. At least I would.

Constructive criticism where art thou... oh well guess that's what editors are for right? to rip a hole in you and then demand money.

3.15.2010

Angels Acting out

Angels walk among us. At least that’s what they tell us in legends. We don’t see them, we don’t hear them, we don’t feel them, and we don’t know who they are even if we did recognize them, till now. They call themselves the “Angel Callers.” Angel Callers have the uncanny ability to sense and track angels. Every 100 years it is their duty to find angels remaining here on Earth to ensure all heavenly beings are present for the Rising.

The street is filled with people walking to and from work and their homes. No one talks, not even for an “excuse me” it’s as if all humankind became robots programmed for just work. They all look like schools of fish going the same way, stopping the same place, leading with the same foot, wearing the same fashion to say the least. Except for him, he who stands in the midst of it all, he who walks a few paces slower than the crowd, stopping every now and then, restarting, and looking around. The cycle repeats itself silently. Instead of the black and white monkey suits everyone else is dressed in, he is cloaked in night; a tattered black trench coat covering a T-shirt, with black jeans and black cowboy boots. His eyes are covered with dark glasses to hide his ever inquisitive eyes.

Then as soon as you see him, he disappears again into the crowd. Desperately your eyes search the crowd, trying to find him but to no avail. His form whisked away before your eyes. Unpleased, you settled back into the crowd of the nameless, merging into the trancelike gait but a sound turns your eyes to a nearby building. Curious you slip away, through the dark doorway, over broken concrete steps, ducking under rags of what used to be curtains of some beautiful apartment lobby. You place your hand on the dusty metal banister; you glance upwards eyeing the ominous stairwell with displeasure. A cloud of dust settles down from above onto your sleeve; absent mindedly you swipe it off without a thought of your mind. A stray cement flake tumbles down off one of the floors above, bouncing off of your black dress shoes. Gripping the handrail you begin the climb up the stairs.

Each step brings you closer to the source of disturbance of the otherwise peaceful building. You carefully take timid steps, ever so careful not to announce your presence, just in case. Your uncertainty awards you, as muffled voices waft towards you stained with urgency and disdain. You slide to the nearest wall, back softly scraping the already peeling orange and yellow 70’s wallpaper. Two figures seem to be arguing in what looks like a dining room of an apartment.

“You need to go now.” a husky male voice affirms.

“No! I have unfinished business to take care of.” objects a small arrogant childlike voice.

As curiosity killed the cat, you peer around the corner and see the man in shadows, but he is blocking his companion.

“It has been decreed that when the horn sounds, all angels return to heaven at once! You are bound by it!”

“No! I need more time! She still needs my help!”

“No, you are going now!”

“No you can’t! She needs me. You can’t force me!”

“I will and I can!”

“No!!!” screams the youth-like voice.

Another voice interrupts the squabble.

“Stop!!!!”

The dark man turns, his hands gripping his companion, and looks at the speaker. It is you! Unknown to yourself, your body jumped out from hiding and screamed at the pair.

“You dare interfere!” the man snarls. Letting go, he fully turns towards you menacingly reaching out with his powerful hands. His eyes pierce your soul as he glares angrily through his tinted glasses. Time seems to slow as he gets closer and closer when…

“CUT!”

The man in black stops short and stretches out. The child behind him exhales a big irritated sigh and sits cross-legged upon the dusty black and white linoleum floor.

“Alright, take five you guys good work! Raphael you were awesome!”

“I know. I’ll be in my quarters.” The man in black solemnly says leaving.

“Gabrielle, beautiful. You captured it perfectly.”

“Thanks!” the child on the floor gets up and dusts themselves off. Apparently this
wasn’t a child but a small woman with childlike features.

“MICHAEL! What is up with that! You messed up the entire shot!” a brown haired young man jumps down and walks to the left. “Can you not control your wings for just one, just ONE second? It was going so perfect!”

“I know, I know sir. I’m sorry; I just got so excited, and forgot my wings were out.”

“Well don’t let it happen again! Go take a break as well, we’ll continue in 10 minutes.”

“Yes sir, thank you sir!”

The young man sighs and murmurs to himself, “This is what I get for hiring angels… “

3.06.2010

Through that Door

Their muffled shouting echoes
like a dull pain throbbing through
my entire body. Every shout pierces
the skin along my back,
causing my back to arc,
Shivering my very soul.

I know what they are talking about,
My mother cries out in sorrow, my father bellows
like a pained ox, angry, belligerent.
Drawers slam-- silverware rattles--
dishes slide as placid domesticity
turns into a method of.threapy

I didn’t ask for this to happen,
why are they acting like it’s my fault?
They should be going after him, leaving
me to sit here, bundled in my bed,
my pillow and my bear tight against my chest.
It is quiet now, I breathe a sigh

If only I didn’t go through that door…


Their muffled shouting echoes
like a dull pain throbbing through
my entire body, sharp like nails
across a chalkboard that deaden
my spine in cold aches,
Shivering my very soul.

I know what they are talking about,
My mother cries out for mercy, my father bellows
like a pained ox, angry, belligerent.
Drawers slam rattling silverware,
dishes slide over dishes as placid
domesticity becomes a method of stifling anger.

It wasn’t my fault, why are they acting,
like it’s my fault
They should be going after him, leaving
me to sit here, bundled in my bed,
hugging my pillow and my bear.
The sounds quiet now, I breathe a sigh

If only I didn’t go through that door…

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3.04.2010

The Spirit of a Mother is Love

Alice Kensington leans up out of her bed. She pushes the covers over to the side and sits on the edge using her feet to find her pale rose slippers she received on Christmas about five years ago. The slippers came with the nightgown she is wearing, same paleness, same worn tattered look. Scratching her head, in attempts to make her hair seem like it doesn’t have a life on its own, Alice finally gets out of bed. She walks over to the small vanity table and chair, where her silk bathrobe is draped waiting for her. Taking the robe and twirling it around her, she walks over to her bedroom door, opens it and proceeds to walk downstairs. She can hear her daughter massacring something in the kitchen.

Sighing softly to herself, Alice walks down the hall, stepping onto the matted runner. She looks to her left where frames of family portraits are kept. The first is of Alice and her husband Charles, on their wedding day. She would never forget that day that Charles asked her to marry him. It was on the beach, one of her favorite spots to walk. They were walking across with the moon reflecting off the water, and he stops and says, “Alice.” Already she knew he was going to “pop the question,” so she started to hold her breathe in anticipation. He gets down on one knee in the sand, takes her hand and repeats her name, “Alice.” He reaches into his inside coat pocket, and then a seagull crashes the party with their signature move, all over his coat. Alice had never laughed so much in her life.

The next has a picture of Marie just when she was a year old. Charles and herself, were posing with her in Alice’s arms. Alice touches the picture tenderly, and remembering that Marie is downstairs she quickens her pace. Next, down the line of photos are more pictures of Marie during her school years: her kindergarten birthday party outside in the backyard, then more pictures from school, Marie’s prom and ball pictures, and lastly her graduation picture complete with cap and gown. A small tear squeezes from Alice’s eye, but she quickly brushes it away. Reminiscently she sighs to herself thinking of the ways things used to be, before everything became complicated. Alice reaches the staircase and grabs the banister on her way down. She can hear her daughter’s frustration in the kitchen.

“I can’t believe you!” Marie turns accusingly to the kitchen door. Alice startled, stops as if a dagger was thrust into her heart. Marie returns to the cutting board angrily preparing vegetables to be made for the spaghetti, each phrase emphasized by a loud chop of vegetables. “All you do is say how… how I can do better. Or what would your father think! But you didn’t have to chase him out the door!” Marie takes a quick pause to gather herself, and to stop her hand from shaking with anger, especially as she is holding a knife.

“Whenever he came over, it was like a battleground! It is always you and him, shouting bullets at each other. At least he has the sense to stop when he gets riled up. No, not you, you keep going. You are the one that screeches like some crazy banshee. You are never worried about anything, like your damn blood pressure, just that I was wrong and that YOU were right! Why can’t you understand that he makes me happy? Why couldn’t you listen to me? Why couldn’t you stop? Why couldn’t you relax?” The tears are streaming down her face now, splashing across her hands melding with the water from the freshly washed vegetables.

Chop, Chop, Chop

Then without warning, Marie collapses on the ground. Pounding the linoleum with her fist with frusteration and hurt. Alice makes an attempt to comfort her daughter, reaching out to her with her hand. Marie releases a scream of anguish like some wounded animal. “He makes me happy. Do you even know what happiness is? Could you? Could you?! No! You never cared! Every fucking time he came over, every single fucking time… Damnit! I love him, and he loves me… And together we are going to have a baby. YOUR grandchild!” Marie glares at the ceiling with hatred. “The grandchild, you can’t even see…” Alice is stunned in silence. Her face turns to mourning as she watches her beautiful daughter tearing herself up on the kitchen floor, convulsing with sobs. Her breaths quicken, and she feels her own tears flow on her face.

Grabbing onto herself with her hands in efforts to comfort herself, she turns around to walk slowly back up the stairs to her bedroom. Sounds of the knife scratching across the cutting board announces that Marie has gotten off the floor and resumed preparations for dinner with steady chopping noise intermingling with inconsistent sniffling , feels like lead nails piercing Alice’s lungs. She finally reaches her bed, in exhaustion, dropping her robe back onto its chair and climbing back into bed. Alice turns to her nightstand where two frames are displayed. One has a picture of herself and Charles. The other is a handwritten note scrawled across a paper napkin, “je suis ici pour vous toujours.” (I’m here for you always) Gingerly she brushes the frame with the back of her fingers. Sighing deeply she settles back into bed, moving her covers up, and hugging them in her cold hands, the tears dripping onto her pillowcase freely.

Marie finishes with the spaghetti preparations and throws everything into a pot and brings it to a boil. She brushes herself off, and looks down at her belly. Smiling, she rubs her starting to emerge belly bump. “One day, when you come out, you can help me make dinner.” Marie walks to the cabinet to grab the plates and utensils to set the table. A loud thud sounds above her. “Mom?

“Mom?!” Marie drops the plates and utensils on the floor as she breaks into a dead run. “Momma!” She screams scrambling around the railing, taking the stairs two at a time. She bursts through the door looking around wildly. The life support machine was toppled over on its side. Marie rushes to the machine, pushing it back to its side making sure it was still working. Then she looks over to her mother. Alice lay in bed, in her worn tattered nightgown, clutching the covers. “Oh Mom, please… please just wake up. We all miss you! You’ll be a grandmother. I know you don’t like him but please just wake up so you can see your grandchild… please… please Mom…” Marie throws herself across her mother and silently cries, clutching her hands.

Alice looks down upon herself and her daughter’s mad embrace of her body. Her tired wrinkled face cracks into a glowing smile. She leans down as if she is kissing Marie on the cheek. “Can I touch her?” Alice asks. “No, you cannot.” A solemn voice speaks. “Alice it is not your time yet. Stay, your body doesn’t want you to leave yet. I will return when the moment is right.”

“Thank you.” Alice looks at Marie before she settles back into her body. ”Je suis ici pour vous toujours Marie...”

Alice Kensington leans up out of her bed. She pushes the covers over to the side and sits on the edge using her feet to find her pale rose slippers she received on Christmas about five years ago. The slippers came with the nightgown she is now wearing, same paleness, same worn tattered look. Scratching her head, in attempts to make her hair seem like it doesn’t have a life on its own, Alice finally gets up out of bed. She walks over to the small vanity table and chair, where her silk bathrobe is draped waiting for her. Taking the robe and twirling it around her, she walks over to her bedroom door, opens it and proceeds to walk downstairs. She can hear her daughter massacring something in the kitchen.

Sighing softly to herself, Alice walks down the hall, stepping onto the matted runner. She looks to her left where frames of family portraits are kept. The first is of Alice and her husband Charles, on their wedding day. She would never forget that day that Charles asked her to marry him. It was on the beach, one of her favorite spots to walk. They were walking across with the moon reflecting off the water, and he stops and says, “Alice.” Already she knew he was going to “pop” the question, so she started to hold her breathe in anticipation. He gets down on one knee in the sand, takes her hand and repeats her name, “Alice.” He reaches into his inside coat pocket, and then a seagull crashes the party with their signature move, all over his coat. Alice had never laughed so much in her life.

The next has a picture of Marie just when she was a year old. Charles and herself, were posing with her in Alice’s arms. Alice touches the picture tenderly, remembering that Marie is downstairs, she quickens her pace. Next, down the line of photos are more pictures of Marie during her school years: her kindergarten birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, then more pictures from school, Marie’s prom and ball pictures, and lastly her graduation picture complete with cap and gown. A small tear squeezes from Alice’s eye, but she quickly brushes it away. Alice reaches the staircase and grabs the banister on her way down. She can hear her daughter’s frustration in the kitchen.

“I can’t believe you!” Marie turns accusingly to the kitchen door. Alice stops like a dagger was thrust into her heart. Marie goes back to the cutting board preparing vegetables for the spaghetti. “All you do is say how… how I can do better. Or what would your father think! But you didn’t have to chase him out the door!” Marie takes a quick pause to gather herself and to stop her hand from shaking with anger, especially as she is holding a knife.

“Whenever he came over, it was like a battleground! Why can’t you understand that he makes me happy?” The tears are streaming down her face now, splashing across her hands melding with the water from the freshly washed vegetables.
Chop, Chop, Chop

Then without warning, Marie collapses on the ground. Pounding the linoleum with her fist. Alice makes an attempt to move to comfort her daughter, reaching out with her right hand. Marie then releases a scream of anguish. “He makes me happy. I love him, and he loves me… And together we are going to have a baby. YOUR grandchild!” Marie glares at the ceiling with hatred. “The grandchild, you don’t want to see…”

Alice is stunned in silence. Her face turns to mourning as she watches her beautiful daughter tearing herself up on the kitchen floor. Her breaths quicken, and she feels the tears flow on her own face. Grabbing onto herself with her hands, she turns around to walk slowly up the stairs to her bedroom. A sound of the knife scratching across the cutting board announces that Marie has gotten up off the floor and resumed the preparations for dinner. A steady chopping sound intermingling with inconsistent sniffling feels like lead nails piercing Alice’s lungs. She finally reaches her bed, in exhaustion, flinging her robe back onto its chair and climbing back into bed. She moves her covers up, and hugs them in her cold hands, the tears dripping onto her pillowcase freely.

Marie finishes with the spaghetti preparations and throws everything into a pot and brings it to a boil. She brushes herself off, and looks down at her belly. Smiling, she rubs her starting to emerge belly bump. “One day, when you come out, you can help me make dinner.” Marie walks to the cabinet to grab the plates and utensils to set the table. A loud thud sounds above her. “Mom?

“Mom?!” Marie drops the plates and utensils on the floor as she breaks into a dead run. “Mother!” She screams scrambling around the railing, taking the stairs two at a time. She bursts through the door looking around wildly. The life support machine was toppled over on its side. Marie rushes to the machine, pushing it back to its side making sure it was still working. Then she looks over to her mother. Alice lay in bed in her worn tattered nightgown, clutching the covers. “Oh Mom, please… please just wake up. We all miss you! You’ll be a grandmother. I know you don’t like him but please just wake up so you can see your grandchild… please… please Mom…” Marie throws herself across her mother and silently cries, clutching her hands.

One tear slips down Alice’s face as she joins her daughter. “I know honey, I know. Though I can’t move, I’ll always be by your side, in spirit. I love you.”

Feel free to subscribe to http://willischinn.blogspot.com

3.02.2010

One small step for Man…

Landing gently on the tattered front steps of his three story home in Brooklyn, Mr. Lewis fumbles between holding his black briefcase in his left hand while cradling a bouquet of red roses intermingling with white baby’s breath under his arm and reaching into his right pocket of his brown blazer jacket for his keys.

“Honey I’m home!” Mr. Lewis calls as he steps through the threshold of the door, barely managing to squeeze himself and his bounty of possessions. Dropping his briefcase alongside the spiraling stairwell, he expertly takes the bouquet behind him as he waits for his family to appear. In no time at all, three brown heads pop over the banister.

“Daddy!”His children scream, as the avalanche begins like a small herd of elephants trampling towards him. Bracing himself slightly, awaiting the tackle of small bodies. “Oof, ouch, ok… ok…” smiles Mr. Lewis through the grimaces. “Hey… hey be gentle, I didn’t raise you kids to behave like this! Where are your manners? I might have to talk to your mother about this…”

“About what?” a sweet musical voice floats above the chaos. Everyone turns to the head of the staircase to see a ravishing woman. Her brown hair is tied back but a few strands straggle around her flour marked face, her green eyes are glaring at the children but betray themselves as they lighten into a smile. She wears dark blue jeans and a black Hard Rock CafĂ© T-shirt; with an apron that displays the intense battle between food and man, or in this case woman.

Clearing his throat, Mr. Lewis gestures to the impish children who smile and disperse throughout the home, only to peer around the nearest corner, conspicuously.
“Hi Dear.” Suddenly he is bashful as she, like a domestic queen of cookery, strides down the staircase.

“Emery Clifford Lewis! How many times have I told you! Dust yourself off when you enter into this home, you look like something the cat dragged…” as Mr. Lewis grabs his wife and cuts her off with a sound kiss on the lips. “…in” Now it is time for Mrs. Lewis to blush.

“It’s nice to see you too Ashley.” Suavely, Mr. Lewis presents to her his gift. “For you my Dear!”

“Oh honey! I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” As they embrace again, until, of course, the attempted stifled snickering begins. Mr. Lewis rolls his eyes. “Can I go?” he whispers to his wife.

“You better, I have something on the stove, and otherwise I would.”

“Thanks honey!” With a voracious snarl, Mr. Lewis leaps over the banister at his children, who scream and dart in horror all over the house.
Smiling as she heads upstairs to the kitchen, Mrs. Lewis calls out, “Don’t forget to wash up before dinner, which is in 10 minutes!”

Mr. Lewis appears with his sports coat disheveled, but eyes shining bright from acting like a child. “Alright kids, you heard your mother! Go fix yourselves! I’ll be right down honey.” As Mr. Lewis climbs the stairs to the master bedroom.
He opens the door to the bedroom taking off his coat and hanging it up in the closet. Taking the clothes laid out for him by his wonderful wife he proceeds to change. Bless her. God blessed me with the greatest wife in the world. he thought. Looking around for his slippers, he finds them at the foot of his bed. Taking a quick detour to the restroom, he finishes his business. Washing his hands, he sucks in a deep breath and exhales a big sigh. Then snapping back to attention he splashes water onto his face. Drying off with a hand towel, he heads back out of the bedroom and down the stairs to see his family seated at the table expecting him to start.

“I’m sorry.” With a grin, Mr. Lewis takes his seat. “So who’s turn is it tonight?”

Clarice, his ten year old daughter raises her hand gingerly. “It’s mine.”

“Alright ‘Clarey’ whenever you are ready.” Mr. Lewis smiles proudly at his daughter as his chest inadvertently puffs out like a robin brandishing its deep red markings in springtime.

“Ok. Let’s Pray. Dear God, thank you for my family. Thank you for today. Thank you for the food. Amen.” Clarice’s head doesn’t rise due to her sudden timidity.
Mr. Lewis gets up from the oak wood chairs and sweeps around the table to his daughter. He pulls Clarice’s chair out suddenly and swoops down to give her the biggest hug he could without crushing her. He sets her down gently in her chair, and bends down to his knees into a squat before her.

“You did well, Clarice. Both of us are extremely proud of you. Thank you for praying for us.”

Clarice raises her soft brown eyes, and smiles her angelic smile. “Thanks Daddy!”

Mr. Lewis gets back to his feet, towering over his daughter but all the while smiling at her like a father can. With a slight bow and curtsey, “You are welcome.”

He walks back to his seat at the head of the table. “Shall we dig in?” he says with a side smile.

Mr. Lewis didn’t even need to suggest that, as his children grabbed their silverware waiting Mrs. Lewis to unveil their dinner for the evening. Waiting for a grand silence, eyeing her children one by one until they settled down in a polite fashion, she grabs the silver dome obscuring her treat from the eyes of her hungry family.
“Now, I worked very hard on dinner tonight. So you better like it.” Mrs. Lewis warned her children.

“That’s right children. Both your mother and I work very hard to get food onto this table. Especially now with the times being as hard as it is. We are lucky that only I have to work, while your mother can stay at home to be here when you come back from school. Further down the line, I don’t know if that will be possible, but we will meet the challenge head on!”

“We know father.” His children chorused.

“Can we eat now?” piped up little five year old Thomas.

“Yes we can.” Mrs. Lewis smiles tenderly at her son. “Drum roll please!” The whole table obliges. “Tonight we feast on… Meatloaf!”

About an hour later after the dishes are cleared away, the dessert already eaten and the dishwasher merrily chugging its own tune of suds and bubbles, Mr. Lewis and the rest of the family are piled into the family room in assorted areas. Clarice is reading on the couch, Thomas is playing with his train set, and Annabelle is having tea with her dolly Tiffany. Mr. and Mrs. Lewis are both sitting in their own Victorian arm chairs imported from England, Mr. Lewis reading the newspaper from today, and Mrs. Lewis is working on a crossword puzzle.

“Ugh! Ok I can’t stand it. I need to get some fresh air. All of this good food is just settling into my stomach. Anyone else want to join me?” Mr. Lewis groans, standing up, stretching while throwing the newspaper into a pile on his set.

“I suppose we could make it a family trip. Anywhere on your mind?” Mrs. Lewis looks up casually at her husband.

“Well I haven’t seen the Brooklyn Bridge in a while. Anyone object?”
The children all glanced up excitedly dismissing their various play things. “No?” says Mr. Lewis. “Alright we’ll go there. All of us?”

Mr. Lewis was barely able to get that question out as he was drowned out by the sheer decibels of his children’s delighted screaming.

“I take that as a yes. Ok children, get your things.”

Soon the family is by the door waiting for their head of household. “Don’t get lost now. It’s not too far away but stick together. If you need help, either your mother or I will be right behind you. Ready? Let’s go!”
Mr. Lewis opens the door and steps outside to make sure the coast is clear. He motions to Thomas. Grabbing his hand with one hand and the back of his pants with the other, Mr. Lewis takes a mighty swing and Thomas disappears off the front steps. He repeats this until all three of the children fly off into the night. Mrs. Lewis steps up and locks the door. Kissing Mr. Lewis on the lips with a soft bat of her lashes at his cheek and a wink, she too vanishes into the dark. A sigh of deep love escapes him, Mr. Lewis shakes the doorknob to make sure it is closed, and looks on into the distance. He can barely see the shapes of his children ahead while his wife is dancing beckoning him to come. With one last look, Mr. Lewis bends his knees and springs off after his family. Landing on cement, watching the debris float in front of him, he plans his route. Jump after jump he times himself, skidding over the roofs of broken cars, climbing ladders leading to nowhere. He looks back at his home; ethereally it stands still, rooted by its sheer volume against the timelessness of space. I think I need to get better shoes. He thinks, running and leaping against any obstacle in his path. Every now and then Mr. Lewis will take a glance underneath him, it will still dazzle him to this day. How the Earth still managed to stay together despite the Martian attack that shattered it. One day, we’ll figure this out. He thought, until then Neil Armstrong said it best. “That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” except now, we keep leaping.

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