Could you please?

Could you argue my case?
it isn’t a big deal really…
just show me off like some
prized pedigree, I’ll even do tricks

grab onto my qualifications and wave them,
like a fan made of Benjamins underneath
anyone and everyone’s nose, not
like they’d have a choice or something

take hold of my forehead and mark it
with the largest and brightest red marker
imaginable, the bigger the better
put that damn reindeer to shame

take a picture and throw it
on every and any milk carton
with my statistics, as if people cared
not like they drink milk these days

lastly graffiti my skill sets
along the wall, preferably the
indoor corridor of some famous museum
because of course BS is art

could you please argue my case?
It isn’t that I can’t
It’s just that you’ll do it better
Thanks so much in advance

<3 Me